


Cold Hands and Warm Embraces

by SpaceMage



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Fluff, M/M, Short One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-02
Updated: 2016-03-02
Packaged: 2018-05-24 06:13:11
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 600
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6144145
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SpaceMage/pseuds/SpaceMage
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kylo Ren and Hux meet every Friday night, and they always part on Saturday mornings. Hux is a trans man who "borrows" all of Kylo Ren's old hoodies. (This is short and sweet.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cold Hands and Warm Embraces

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fanfiction. It was originally written as a present, but I hope I can get some advice on my writing. If anyone is interested in commissioning me or giving me criticism, please email me at celestialavengers@gmail.com

            Kylo Ren is naturally warm, and he uses it as an excuse to give all of his hoodies to Hux. On Saturdays they spend the morning together, a tangle of limbs on Hux’s bed before the sun rises. They have to destroy that sun one day, and Kylo has never hated a celestial body with such a passion. The sun forces him away from Hux, and the same star will mark the beginning of an era of destruction and misery. When the First Order reaches power, he can’t be with Hux. There is no love in the galaxy he is creating. There is only power and death and suffering and a lack of Hux. Suffering is found in his absence.

Now, however, his arms are snuggly fit around him; his hands are resting in the pocket of the faded blue hoodie that he gave Hux when they first started these meetings. Kylo lowers his head, resting it on his boyfriend’s shoulder. His breathing is slow and deep. It is undisputedly the best sound. Too often Kylo wakes from nightmares, seeing himself kill those closest to him, but he always wakes to the sound of this steady breathing and the touch of Hux’s notoriously cold hands holding his.

Hux has cold hands, but his heart is warmer than whatever is keeping Kylo Ren alive. He stands straight, wears heavy clothes, and talks in a monotonous voice. He hates his assignments and what he’s doing, but he can’t stop doing it. Hux forces himself into routine, and he makes himself miserable with it. Somehow, though, Kylo became the only messy happiness in such a dark, calculated life. Kylo Ren meets Hux in the General’s quarters late on Friday night, and they stay in one another’s embrace until dawn shows its cruel face once more.

Kylo Ren has never had to comfort Hux from nightmares. He doesn’t seem to dream much, only on occasion does he make small movements in his sleep. There was that one time where he moaned, “Kylo,” in his sleep, and Kylo held him close. They never talk about their dreams. Maybe if they never mentioned them, they could forget them. Surely, dreams that you never acknowledge can’t become reality. Kylo doesn’t sleep much. He holds his boyfriend close and cards his fingers through his bright hair. It looks better without all of the gel in it, but that is a part of Hux’s routine that Kylo doubts will change anytime soon.

Kylo Ren loves Hux. He doesn’t know how much that means, though. He used to love his parents. He used to love his uncle. He used to love fighting for something meaningful.

He loves Hux, but he’s tired. He doesn’t think he is enough for Hux, and he is dependent upon him for validation and security. He can’t get out of bed on Saturday mornings until Hux tells him it’s time for him to go. Maybe his boyfriend could forget him. He would be better off without him. But Kylo doesn’t want him to leave. He just longs for the day they can hold hands outside of this room, the day they can leave hickeys on their necks and not fear anyone noticing.

Love makes people weak. Kylo Ren was a dead man the moment his hand grazed Hux’s. Hux smells of a certain masculine musk and fresh soap. He bites the inside of his cheek out of nervous habit, and he bites Kylo’s lips when they kiss secretly in the empty halls. This love is killing Kylo, but without his love, he would already be dead.

 


End file.
